Fighting Back

I’ve been suffering with labyrynthitis and a sinus infection for over 5 weeks now and, unfortunately, it’s seen some of my depression and anxiety symptoms return as a result of being cooped up indoors with nothing to stop me overthinking “stuff”.

My normal coping stategies are my writing (but my eyesight hasn’t been good enough to allow me to do that) or going for my short walks on the canal. Both act as a natural anti-depressant and I’ve missed them both. Have started some medication which is starting to help so, fingers crossed, I’ll soon be back to my magical self and back doing the things I love.

For some weeks now I’ve been unwell

I’ve not been happy and things don’t gel

The fear creeps in and life is hard

I need to find my happiness card

When in my zone I use fairy magic

And trust they’ll steer me away from tragic

But I’ve lost my way and need a guide

So I find a way and do not hide

Today’s a start I’m back to my writing

I’m coming back and started fighting

Depression is a big black hole

And I’m climbing out to retrieve my soul

I just need to put one foot out

the other will follow, I have no doubt

Take one day at a time and gradually I’ll regain

My happy place and ditch the pain

For some weeks now I’ve been unwell

I’ve not been happy and things don’t gel

The fear crept in and life was hard

But I’m fighting back for my happiness card

Free Help Available

In the last few weeks I have learnt that someone whom I thought was happy, bubbly, outgoing and inspirational had committed suicide. He was a very successful business man and had made plenty of money during his life. He leaves behind family, friends and clients who are left feeling that this is such a waste of what seemed a very big life. It reminded me that we never know how someone is feeling if we don’t ask them, and take the time to be prepared to really listen, rather than accept their “I’m fine” If you haven’t got time to listen and support them then maybe point them in the direction of the samaritans, I hadn’t realised it’s a free phone call option and the number is 116 123.

I’ve also discovered a close friend, who has been battling cancer for quite a while now, is at the end of his treatment options and is now terminal. At the same time 2 guys in my networking group are terminal too. We never know how much of life is left in our account so make every day count and choose to live in the moment. These guys, like many others who’ve gone before aren’t regretting how much time they spent working or making money, they’re using their time to create amazing memories with loved ones. Those moments are priceless so don’t throw your’s away.


Just recently I’ve heard about, a friend who took his life

He didn’t value what he had, was swallowed up in strife

He chose to throw it all away, he couldn’t deal with pain

But ask yourself this question, what exactly did he gain?


Three others I know are facing death, for them the end is near

But they’re choosing to be positive, I wonder where’s their fear?

What’s valued most is time to spend, with loved ones of their own

They choose to make good memories, instead of whinge and moan


The world has possibilities, in death there’s none to be had

If you need help, then speak out now, we need to know you’re sad

If loved ones aren’t available, The Samaritans are always there

There’s someone who will listen to you, take the time to care


Although my health is pants right now, I know it will improve

I’ll use their courage examples, to keep me in the groove

I’m grateful for the support I have, it’s keeping me on track

For the friend who chose to leave, there’s just no coming back


Just recently I’ve heard about, a friend who took his life

He didn’t value what he had, was swallowed up in strife

He chose to throw it all away, he couldn’t deal with pain

I hope my words can help someone, show nothing’s there to gain.


We’ve just adopted a gorgeous Burmilla cat who’s nearly 3 years old. She got one of her paws caught in some string she was playing with, back when she was a kitten and, unfortunately, had to have her leg amputated because the blood supply got cut off. However she isn’t at all phased by this and runs and jumps around just as much as a 4 legged cat. She is absolutely adorable and we already can’t imagine our lives without her in it.

A furry bundle has come to stay

A gorgeous cat who loves to play

She’s lost a leg but doesn’t fret

She bold as brass and is our pet

Her name is Nala from the lion king

She’s very vocal and loves to sing

Already she has warmed our hearts

As through our house she runs and darts

We love her dearly and enjoy her cuddles

But routine’s gone as our lives she muddles

She’ll settle down I’m sure, in time

And learn her role and be just fine

A perfect Christmas gift is she

Her furry love is precious to see

Her coat is soft as soft can feel

She’s 100% ours and I love that deal

A furry bundle has come to stay

A gorgeous cat who loves to play

She’s lost a leg but doesn’t fret

She taken our hearts and is our pet

Wise purchase or rash decision?

I wrote this short story back in 2008 as an entry for a competition. I recently found it again so thought I’d share it with you.

Sally felt the first wet splash against the back of her neck and just knew this day from hell was about to get worse. She hadn’t thought to put her umbrella in her bag this morning. But then, when she had set off for work earlier in the day, she had felt on top of the world and the prospect of it raining hadn’t even entered her head. Today, according to her horoscope, was meant to be the day her future plans started to come together. She had interpreted that as meaning that her long promised promotion was going to happen.

Everyone in the bank knew that the appointment to the Junior Manager position was due to be announced today. Sally had gone up for it along with only two other candidates. Charmaine everyone knew was unlikely to get it. She wasn’t a popular employee and the post needed someone who could get on with all the staff. That left her other competitor, Giles. Giles was more popular but not exactly the Bank’s hardest worker. He spent quite a bit of his working day flirting with the female employees and Sally couldn’t see him knuckling down and getting on with such a responsible position. That left her and she knew she was well liked, worked hard and had the added bonus of being told by her boss, Geoff, that promotion would soon be coming her way.

            Earlier that day she’d skipped into the Bank’s lobby feeling absolutely invincible. Instead of the usual 20 minute wait for a lift she’d stepped right into one that was almost empty and ready to set off for her office on the 16th floor. Her fellow employees had all greeted her with smiles and hellos and life had felt good. She’d sat down in her little cubicle in the open plan space and straight away had settled down todo her usual work.

She knew that the announcement about the job was due to take place at lunchtime so there was still time to show her boss that he was making the right choice. Time went quickly as she had a lot to do. She’d looked up briefly and smiled after about half an hour as Giles arrived. He was half an hour late and then spend the next hour or so flirting and chatting before even thinking about settling down to do some work. The job was definitely hers. After all who in their right minds would choose him over her?

            Around 11am two men in suits, who she had never seen before, and Giles’s current girlfriend, Amanda, walked through the area and headed for the two private offices at the back. One office was empty and reserved for the successful candidate so they must be going to see her boss who worked in the other, larger one. She hoped they wouldn’t hold him up for too long as she was dying to hear whether or not she’d got the job.

Her hopes weren’t answered as they all stayed in there until 2pm. She hadn’t dared go for lunch in case they finished and so she was starving hungry and getting really grouchy by the time they left. What annoyed her even more was the fact that her boss left with the two strangers and so she still didn’t know when she’d find out. And why on earth was Amanda still in the office?

            She didn’t have long to wait to find out. Shortly after the three men left Amanda came out of the office and asked everyone to go through to the boardroom as she had an announcement to make. As she shuffled out of her cubicle Vanessa, a colleague, whispered “I guess this is it Sally, don’t worry, you’ve got it in the bag although I don’t know why SHE is making the announcement”. Sally mumbled her thanks and hoped she was right, but, deep down in the pit of her stomach she felt a rumble of unease. As soon as they were all gathered Amanda started.

“Thank you all for coming in. I guess you’re wondering what’s going on. I know you had been expecting Geoff to announce the name of the new Junior Manager by now.Well I’m sorry to say but Geoff is no longer with the company. Unfortunately he has been found to be embezzling money and has been taken into police custody pending further investigations” With that the whole room erupted with everyone gasping and talking at once about how surprised they were and what would happen next. “Okay, okay I appreciate this will have come as a shock to some of you but settle down now” As she said this Sally wondered why she’d said it would be a shock to “some of us”, especially as she’d looked straight at her as she’d said that. “You will also want to know what’s going to happen now. Well the bank has asked me to step in and take over this office until something more permanent can be arranged. They also think it will help stability and morale if you have a Junior Manager who you all know during this time. There is a suspicion that Geoff may have had an accomplice so, unfortunately, the police are going to have to do some more investigations before they can be sure he was working alone.”

Sally’s uneasy feeling was growing now as Amanda, once again, looked directly at her when she talked about the possibility of an accomplice. The bank may have seen her good working relationship with Geoff as something more than innocent and suspected her of being in on his wrongdoings.

Amanda called for hush and then, in the space of 2 minutes, spoke the words Sally had started to dread were coming. “Without further ado I have great pleasure in announcing the name of your new Junior Manager. He will be with you to help get through the next few difficult weeks and I’d like Giles to step up here and accept our offer”

Sally couldn’t breathe, the room felt like it was closing in on her and everything faded out as she took in those words. Not only did she not have the job but she strongly believed that the bank suspected her of working with Geoff in whatever his illegal activities had been. How could this day have gotten this bad, this quickly? She sat down and put her head between her knees as she really felt like she was going to faint. She stayed there for 5-10mins and, just as she was starting to feel better, she heard Amanda’s voice break through her thoughts.

“Sally, Sally. Are you okay?” Sally shook herself out her stupor and looked up. Amanda actually looked quite concerned for her. That was ironic considering she had been the one to shatter her world. She’d given her boyfriend Sally’s job and then compounded it by suspecting her of working with Geoff to defraud the company. She decided she’d imagined the last bit for a few seconds until Amanda spoke again. “I’m really sorry to have to do this now. I know you’re disappointed at not getting the job but believe me it had nothing to do with Giles being my boyfriend. However I have to tell you that you are suspended on full pay until the time the police have finished their investigations and will need to leave the building now. Please be assured that we are not implying any guilt on your part and, once the investigations have been concluded, you’ll be allowed back to work if they find you weren’t involved.”

Sally didn’t really remember much after that but she must have left the Bank and when she felt that first splash of rain she looked up and saw that she was still in the high street and was standing outside a shoe shop. Actually it was her favourite shoe shop and as she looked into the window she lost her breath for the second time that day. There, in the window was the most beautiful pair of shoes she’d seen in a long time. They were blue silk and had around a 4 inch stiletto heel . They were covered in the most amazingly vibrant red floral pattern and had pointed toes. They were absolutely exquisite. She so wanted to buy those shoes but did she really need them?

They were bound to be expensive and, without her expected promotion and the extra money that would have bought, could she really afford them? She remembered a conversation she’d had with her last boyfriend, David. His philosophy had been you only ever needed 5 pairs of shoes maximum. He owned a pair of trainers for sports and casual wear, a pair of sandals for holidays and a pair of black brogues which he used for work and more dressy occasions. According to him the only other shoes you’d need would be maybe another pair of brogues in brown, if you were fussy about colour matching, and a pair of walking boots, if you were a serious hiker. He’d nearly had a heart attack when he’d seen Sally’s collection. She’d already collected around 50 pairs in her 23 years and could totally understand women, older than her, who’d been known to own more than 100 pairs. It was so true what they said about men and women being from different planets! Her philosophy was so much more sophisticated than David’s had been. She’d tried to explain it to him but he just didn’t get it. Her explanation of shoes affecting your moods, for example the time she’d been wearing her “sex kitten” shoes (they were red patent leather and had really high stiletto heels and made her feel much more adventurous than she really was) and had somehow found the nerve to ask  a complete stranger if he’d have dinner with her. When she’d told him about that he’d laughed at her and said she was daft to have attributed that behaviour to the shoes. He’d just not got it and his explanation for what had happened had been that she’d just had a glass of wine and the alcohol had loosened her inhibitions. He also just didn’t get the idea that you needed a selection of different colours, materials and styles according to what outfits and occasions were involved. To him the choice was simple to her it was complex and needed a lot of care and attention because the wrong shoes could completely change her mood and look.

Anyways she needed to make a decision and move on because if it was going to rain she’d better get herself home before she got soaked. She stood and thought it through and finally decided she wanted the shoes but didn’t actually need them, especially as it looked like she might be unemployed at some point in the future.

Okay, decision made. She shook herself out of her thoughts and reluctantly moved on. She hadn’t taken more than three of four steps before she was suddenly thrown forwards as the heel on her shoes snapped off and she fell forwards scraping her hands as she put them out to save herself. She picked herself up and looked down at the wrecked shoe, could this day possibly get any worse? Well she had two options now didn’t she? She could snap the other heel off and walk home in flats or see it as an omen and go back for the shoes she’d just seen on the grounds that the universe was sending her a sign. No contest she thought to herself snapping the other heel off.

She turned around and almost ran back to the shop. She now felt she no longer wanted but needed the shoes if even only to end the day on a positive note after what had gone before.

When she entered the shop and asked about the shoes in the window she was delighted to discover they were on sale, the last pair and in her size. Finally some good karma she thought to herself. She tried them on, they fitted perfectly and with the labels removed and her broken shoes thrown away she exited the shop feeling like a whole new person.

Now she’d made the decision and bought the shoes she decided the very least they deserved was a quick outing so she decided to stop for a glass of wine before going home. After all, thanks to the suspension, she was a lady of leisure for at least the next few days and she might as well take advantage of that.

As she walked into the wine bar, she felt like a million dollars. It really was amazing what a new pair of shoes could do for you she thought. As she approached the bar she felt herself smiling and just at that moment a gorgeous guy smiled back at her and came towards her. Did she know him? He stopped and asked “I couldn’t help but notice you as you came in and wondered whether you would let me buy you a glass of wine?” Normally Sally would have politely declined but today was such a strange day and suddenly she found herself accepting his invitation. Several hours later she left the bar, with a date made to see the handsome stranger again. His name was Alain, they had both thoroughly enjoyed their time together and Sally had a strange feeling that he might be around for some time to come.

If she’d not bought those new shoes and, instead, hurried home on her broken ones she’d never have met him. Just went to show that a girl always needed a new pair of shoes! She chuckled to herself and headed home feeling ready to tackle whatever life threw at her. 

Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

Living With Anxiety

I have suffered with mental health issues including depression, anxiety and OCD for the last 10-12 years. Although it’s been hard I now find myself in a much better place and have more “good days” than bad ones. However I have friends and family who are still battling with their issues and wish I could do more to support them. I’ve written this poem to honour where I was and where several people still are, in the hope that it will raise awareness of how important mental health issues are to today’s society.

How to stay happy when you’ve lived life in fear?

How to appreciate the things you hold dear

Mental health is important but easy to ignore

But how we are feeling is right at our core

How often do you question “How are you today?”

And receive the stock answer “I’m fine”, people say

But dig a bit deeper and often they’re lying

To you and themselves, as inside they are crying

The fears they hold close are quite often not real

And helping them see that can change how they feel

But they may need help to do that, they can’t see alone

So why not support them, in person or phone

They have a role too and should share how they’re feeling

It’s hard but there’s help there to help them in dealing

With all those black thoughts that need blasting away

So that love and life magic can enter and stay

How to stay happy when you’ve lived life in fear?

How to appreciate the things you hold dear

Mental health is important but easy to ignore

But pay it some attention and strengthen your core

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Fairies do Christmas too

My latest poem involves 2 of my favourite things in whole world, fairies and Christmas. Hope you enjoy it. Love and pixie dust you all. Suzi xxx



The fairy folk love Christmas too

They love to celebrate with me and you

We cannot see them unless we believe

But embrace the magic and love is achieved


For those who embrace the enchantment completely

Pure magic and love are sprinkled so sweetly

Fighting vanishes and peace reigns for all

If you practice some kindness you’ll hear it’s clear call


But it’s also a time for having some fun

Unicorns play near and prance in the sun

So let down your hair and allow joy to abound

You’ll see it reflected in all you’re around


The candles glow brighter, the smiles abound

The streets ring with laughter and magic’s around

Giggle and share love with everyone near

Spread Christmas magic and share festive cheer


The fairies are wise and can do this all year

But humans they struggle and fall back to fear

If only we knew how to access all year flow

The world would be stronger and love it could grow


The fairy folk love Christmas too

They love to celebrate with me and you

We see them quite clearly, we clearly believe

We’re embracing the magic and love is achieved


Photo by Mean Shadows on Unsplash


I’ve been going through some pretty unpleasant “stuff” over the last week. It’s depleted my usually high supplies of love and positivity and led me to the point where I had a full on panic attack, in public, which necessitated the staff in a local store calling an ambulance for me. In the couple of weeks leading up to that I had found little time to do any exercise, do much of my writing, (the main thing that keeps my positivity “topped up”) or even get enough sleep. Please learn from my mistakes and make sure, no matter how much love and support you are sending out there for others, you find time for self-care otherwise you will be no help to anyone. Love and pixie dust to you all xxx


I want to be happy I want to be free

So why does my family keep stopping me

I don’t think they mean to, I don’t think they know

But what they are doing is making me low


On good days I sparkle and radiate magic

On bad days that fades, and then I am tragic

All I am asking is really quite simple

Be mindful of others and I’ll smile with a dimple


We often don’t realise the impact we make

On others around us, it spreads like a lake

So just take a minute, and think before acting

Our energy radiates and is often impacting


So take heed today and live all day with love

And all others will feel it like the peace of a dove

The day will go better and everyone wins

Drown out the bad news and positivity wins


I want to be happy I want to be free

So why does my family keep stopping me

I don’t think they mean to, I don’t think they know

I’ll ask them to stop it and then I can glow


Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Networking pitch

I regularly attend 4N networking meetings as it helps me meet new people to share what I do with lots of people

I wrote this poem to go with the pitch we all do to let others know exactly what our businesses are and thought I’d share it on here too


I’m the colour fairy, I make you look your best

I use my magic panels, to put you to the test

I look at eye and hair colour, to work out all my stuff

And if you add in skintone, I really have enough


Once you know your colours, your confidence it soars

Kittens turn into lions, and people hear their roars

So why not have a party or just a one to one

You’ll find out just what suits you, and even have some fun


You boys could buy a gift voucher, for any girls you know

That could be mum or girlfriend, or even neighbour Jo

Or maybe you would like to learn, the skills that I do now

Then come along and join my team, and I will show you how.


If anyone would like to find out more about joining my team then click here

Or visit my website at




The spirit of Christmas

I have always loved everything about Christmas and got that love and excitement from my mum who, sadly, is no longer alive. She was one of the kindest, sweetest people I ever knew and I try every day to live in a way she would be proud of. One of the reasons I love Christmas so much is because so many more people seem to live in a kindly ,supportive way during the season. However wouldn’t it be awesome if we lived that way all year round. I’m not perfect by any means, I know some days I can be short and impatient but I try and limit those days and practice kindness every time I can. Let’s take the spirit of Christmas and spread the message that it’s okay to live that way all year round. (Still trying to persuade my husband that it would be awesome to leave the Christmas decorations up all year long but think that’s something that will take a little longer, ha ha!)


What does Christmas mean to you

Is it all about presents and hullabaloo

Or is it more about kindness and love

Or magic intentions sent from above


For me it’s always been a magical time

But why only for the season, all year would be fine

If we spread Christmas kindness all year long

Wouldn’t our planet be better, be strong


When we’re buying our presents why not buy just one more

And think of a person who could find it by their door

The magic of receiving it could open their eyes

To someone who notices their laughs and their cries


Or why not reach out and see what they need

And show them that Christmas isn’t all about greed

There are a lot of good people who spend the season quite sad

And showing some kindness could help them feel glad


So spend some time thinking of something to do

And spread seasonal magic so more do so too

Then carry on doing the kind things all year

And spread Christmas magic and seasonal cheer


And maybe, just maybe, we’ll increase that same magic

All year, if we can and avoid something tragic

People will see kindness helps all year round

And maybe they’ll join in with the magic we’ve found


What does Christmas mean to you

Is it all about presents and hullabaloo

Or is it more about kindness and love

Lets spread magic intentions sent from above


Photo by Matt Collamer on Unsplash

40 years ago

Attended a 40 year reunion event this weekend with the girls I started my nurse training with in 1978. We were all 18 years old and very timid but a lot has changed since then. Had a great time with them and wrote this poem to celebrate the event.


We came to London all naïve, 40 years ago

We learnt about life together amongst the ebb and flow

Where once we were so shy and quiet we soon saw all of life

And soon had much experience of gore and pain and strife


We worked so hard as nurses and tried our very best

We saw some sights and learnt some facts and put them to the test

The hours were long and arduous, we didn’t shirk you know

We all were very dedicated but often tears would flow


It was so very different to what most had known before

We grew up very quickly amongst the blood and gore

But in amongst the hard work and toil we found the time to laugh

And most of us enjoyed ourselves as we walked along our path


Back then it was a calling, a need to help the sick

We went to make a difference, compassion made us tick

We worked so hard for all those years and finally made the grade

We qualified and moved away and only few have stayed


A few still practice nursing but most do other things

Our time together is so much fun and laughter soars on wings

But one thing still unites us all and each had stuff to say

About their loving families and how that shows the way


We came to London all naïve, 40 years ago

We learnt about life together amongst the ebb and flow

We’re now all grown and experienced in all that’s gone before

But still have things in common and strive to learn some more